People always bang on about modern football being rubbish. But, if twenty years ago Kolo Toure wanted to tell Piers Morgan to f**k off, he would've had to send him a letter, and no one would see it. That's no fun for everyone else, is it? No, it isn't. So, because of that... modern football is alright. Here's what else has been going on so far this week...
Football Friends – Steven Gerrard, Rio Ferdinand and Frank Lampard openly discuss England's 'Golden Generation' and why they think it failed. Club differences being the key ingredient to failure? The whole Italy winning squad of 2006 played in Serie A. Spain did alright too... Still, an interesting insight.
Who are ya? – We're assuming one of the main reasons that Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain left Arsenal was to get away from doing tragic 'viral' video content for the club's social channels. Unluckily for the Ox, he found himself dressed in disguise with Robbie Fowler in his ear as he was shot down by a child in the club store.
More Work For CR7 – Preferred the old one to be honest. The statue of a teenage CR7 trying to hold in a fart was way more iconic than this chiselled creation. Another reminder to us all that change is not good.
The Late Show – Torpedo Kutaisi and Dinamo Tbilisi went head-to-head in the final game of the Georgian Premier League season. Torpedo (in the green) needed a win to secure the title, Dinamo just need a draw. 1-0 to Torpedo and in the 96th minute the ref awards Dinamo a penalty. A sudden death chance to win the league. Fluffed.
No More Bananas – Can't you just say you meant it and bent it, Roberto? Putting one of the greatest goals ever scored down to a strong northeasterly gust just ain't as magical.
Hairdryer Holloway – Ian Holloway doesn't care if it's a school night. Ian Holloway doesn't care for crowded tubes. Ian Holloway doesn't care if you're keen to catch I'm a Celeb on +1. You'll sit down and you'll watch every damn minute you've paid for.
Get Over It – Just two-and-half minutes of Messi moaning to the officials about his ghost goal. Were La Liga waiting for something like this to happen before they introduced goal-line tech? It's a no-brainer. You just know that Messi will be sat in a chair twenty years from now answering questions about his official goal scoring numbers. "Well actually it's 3,000,001 cos I scored against Valencia but "aaaaaapparently" it didn't count."
Kolo Comeback – Just Kolo Toure telling Piers Morgan to do one. Also nice to know that Kolo refers to himself in the third person. Strong.
Monkey Business – Here's a monkey presenting the referee with the match ball in the J-League, because sometimes football is weird.
One of the Good Guys – The day Peter Crouch retires is the day that football becomes a sadder place. Luckily for us, he's sticking around for one more season at least. Get the man on the plane to Russia, Southgate. There's an extra leg-room seat with his name on it.
Think you're about up to date now. Carry on with whatever it was that you were doing...
