Time to take a quick look back at what the wonderful world of football has churned up this week. Forget your goals of the season, showboating and winning, the real entertainment in this game comes from all sorts of alternative angles. Here's a bunch of random stuff you might have missed this week...
Turning Water Into Jokes – Gabriel Jesus stitching up his mother with a classic water bottle trick. Yep, you're trying this one over the weekend with the half time bottles, or with ketchup, or a hose, it's really up to you how far you wanna take it.
Sexy football – Just a young Pep Guardiola wowing a lady friend with all the seduction of a perfectly timed Kevin De Bruyne shoulder drop and reverse through ball.
Glitch up – Standard Liege went full FIFA by gloriously botching the chance to wrap things up against Seville in the Europa League. Takes a few watches this one.
Moves like Memphis – Motherwell defender Charles Dunne – street name 'Chilli D' – was quick to mock Memphis Depay's freestyle rap to celebrate the Dutchman reaching 5 million Instagram followers this week.
No Look Pass – It's never dull with Neymar. When he's not scoring winners, pulling off outrageous skills or rolling around the floor like he's just been walloped in the back of the head by Anthony Joshua he's geeing the crowd up instead of receiving a pass.
Double-barrelled – Yep, the French Civil Service have announced that they've had to step in to stop a couple naming their new born baby Griezmann Mbappe. That's right, they didn't even go for first names, straight on that surname thing. Umtiti Fekir would have been better.
Must Dash – *VINCENT DEL BOSQUE HAS SHAVED OFF HIS MOUSTACHE KLAXON* The unthinkable has happened. Look deep into his eyes, into his soul and tell us that this a man who shaved off his mighty fine upper lip masterpiece out of choice. It's suspicious. Doesn't sit right with us.
Maradona – Some games leave you speechless. As does a lifetime of drink and drug abuse.
So good he framed it twice – No one on this planet loves anything more than Alexis Sanchez loves his dogs.
Unbelievable Jeff – Impressionist Conor Moore providing a superb preview of what's to come on this big weekend of derbies.
Have a good one...
